It is currently 1 am. I woke up positively panicked over something that I’ve just realized I’ve let happen. I am growing up. And I am growing out of the things that shaped who I am. Which is terrifying.
I’ve prided myself for many years on the fact that I am one of that most devout Potter fans there ever was. Even though I was always too young to go to the book releases, I always made sure to pick one up on the day of its release. For the final four movies, I actually managed to get in for the midnight premiers. I remember when JK Rowling did the Livecast to announce Pottermore, I woke up at the most literal ass crack of dawn in order to experience it firsthand. I was one of the most avid fan fiction writers there ever was and I even learned how to knit so that I could make myself a Ravenclaw scarf because my mom wouldn’t let me buy one at the store.
My love of the Potter universe was unreal, as it was for many people. I don’t think I’ve ever, to this day, loved a fandom or a series as much as I loved Harry Potter. For some reason, though, over the last couple of years I have fallen away from it. I really don’t like the idea of growing out of something that was so front-and-center from primary school on up through adulthood.
I got my first Harry Potter book (obviously the Sorcerer’s Stone) at the second grade Scholastic Book Fair. At that age it was a difficult read and I prided myself on being able to read at that level. At that point, i think the only books that had been published were 1, 2, and 3, because I remember borrowing The Goblet of Fire from my grandfather about a year later. I kept that book until around about my sixth grade year, because it was my favorite of the series and I was constantly rereading it.
We were on vacation in Nevada when the final installment of the Harry Potter series came out. the day it was released, we were walking by a bookstore and I popped in to grab it. I remember I was excited because at that time the rumor was that there were going to be two major character deaths – one good and one evil. I gave the book to my mom and told her to read the last few chapters and to tell me who dies, so that I was mentally prepared when it came right down to it. When she came back to me the next morning, she refused to tell me who it was, so begrudgingly, I trudged my way through the final book, with the knowledge that I was most likely going to have my heart ripped clear out of my chest by one of my favorite characters being offed in the final pages of the series.
I didn’t realize that by two characters, Rowling had actually meant 200, because I swear every character I ever loved ended up dead within the final 100 pages of the series.
Imagine little twelve-year-old me, sitting in my hotel room, ugly crying over the characters that i had literally grown up with. At that point in my life, I had never experienced a personal tragedy, so when I was reading through the deaths of Mad Eye Moody, Fred Weasley, Tonks, and Remus Lupin, it literally felt like friends of mind had been ripped from me. I mean, think about it. These characters were as good as real for me. I’d learned how to read from Harry Potter.
And now I’m struggling to remember the names of even my most favorite characters.
So, in an attempt to try to rekindle my love for the series, I’ve decided that I’m going to start rereading them, but not in order. I’m going to read them in order from my least favorite to favorite, to see if my opinion is still the same from the last time I’ve read the series (about three years ago).
I’ll be reading them in this order:
- Order of the Phoenix
- Chamber of Secrets
- Half-Blood Prince
- Sorcerer’s Stone
- Prisoner of Askaban
- Goblet of Fire
- Deathly Hallows
Then if I have any time left before college starts, I’m going to read them again, but in their traditional order. I’m hoping that this will help me to rejuvenate my love for this series, because I absolutely hate the idea of losing interest in the one thing that has been a constant throughout my entire life up to this point.
I have to go now, though, because I’m busy rewatching the films and rereading OOTP.
Have a wonderful evening~