Today’s the day. My high school graduation. You would think I’d be freaking out, since I have to be there doing sound check in about two and a half hours, but I’m really not. Instead, I’m lying in bed, casually writing some music for the ballet and drinking coffee in my sweatpants.
Just about everyone from my class that I’ve spoken to over the last week or so has had a moment where they’ve stepped back and realized that this is actually happening – that we’re not students of Henryville High School anymore. I haven’t had a moment like that. I can’t decide if it’s going to hit me like a ton of bricks when I’m sitting there at graduation and I’m just going to be an emotional mess for the rest of the day, or if the realization just kind of passed me over completely.
I know I’m graduating today with honors. That’s an inevitability, but I haven’t exactly hit the brick wall like everyone else has, realizing that after this summer, it’s likely that I won’t see my high school friends ever again. It’s a weird concept that I’ve been trying to force myself to think about an come to terms with. Then I thought, maybe I just don’t care and that’s why I haven’t had an emotional breakdown yet. I don’t think that is the case, though, because I care about my friends. I care about what my band program is going to be like next year, with two sophomores on the podium. I worry a lot. I just haven’t gotten the “Graduation Blues” (as my friends have started calling them) yet.
I’ll be worried when it does happen though. I’m going to be a mess.